Greetings, Citizens!
I, your humble Constable, am officially on Blogger Paternity Leave. I find it incredibly convenient of my impending daughter to decide she's ready to come into this world during the All-Star Break, and I hope she's ready for a lifetime of Astros fan-dom. If she's not, well, she'll be disciplined. If she decides she's a Rangers fan, then check your local rivers and tributaries for a basket with a child in it.
I know what you're thinking: "How did this blogger knock somebody up from his mom's basement? Well, he wasn't wearing pants. That's 10% of the battle." And I would tell you, Jon Heyman, to piss off.
Anyhow, with The Wife being induced first thing tomorrow morning, you won't see me around these parts much for the time being. I leave you in the capable hands of Deputies Trostel, McQuid, Barto, and Cockroach. You may even get a surprise from Deputy Phelps. If they haven't started a blogger fight with a Rangers fan, or even managed to rile up Evan Grant, then they will each be fired.
You'll be able to find me more often on Twitter, as it will be more acceptable to La Constabless for me to be on my phone, rather than on the trusty basement laptop.
Best wishes, and maybe when I return, the Astros will have re-overtaken the Cubs.
Bro-hugs all around...
We didn't come out here to play tiddlywinks, son.
-Hal Smith
