First: I have read this Charleston Post & Courier column six times trying to determine any sly wink-wink undertones that establishes the writer's tongue is planted firmly in the aforementioned's cheek. I don't believe it's sarcasm:
America's children are our future.
Too bad they're menaced by insidious images from our sporting past -- and present.
At least they will no longer be subjected to the jarring specter of a gun on the "throwback" jerseys occasionally worn by the Houston Astros.
The National League expansion team was known as the Houston Colt .45s from 1962-64, sporting uniforms with the word "Colts" above a drawing of the fearsome firearm that helped tame the West. Way back then, grown-up folks lacked this era's enlightened sensitivities about the dangers of exposing young folks to such violent visuals.
And so on. He goes on to explain that not all Irish want to fight, and laments the trivialization of cock-fighting in reference to the South Carolina Gamecocks, and a number of other sports-teams logos and nicknames that could send the message that Clemson and their "zany antics trivialize the plight of an awesome species apparently bound toward extinction due to mankind's species-centric disregard for nature's wonders."
(I was half-waiting to see if the "Astros" name is offensive because it hearkens back to a day when we engaged those dirty pig Commies in a race to leave the perfectly good atmosphere God had created just for us to live and breathe in). Just to keep my eyes from liquefying, I'm going to assume it's sarcasm. Because if it's not tongue-in-cheek, the "subliminal signals your kids receive when they watch sports" are much less of a threat than being subjected to this level of gravitas.
We didn't come out here to play tiddlywinks, son.
-Hal Smith
