Winning half your games is not much of an accomplishment for most teams. The Astros, however, are not most teams. For those of you who come here to get your Astros daily fix, you are probably aware that I am an optimist when it comes to the AstBros, and even I would not have predicted that we’d be 3 ½ out at this point. So how’d we get here? Let’s take a quick look at each player individually and then we’ll give out some grades and awards.
Starting Bros
Magic Wandy
Wandy brought the funk the last time out getting 11K’s and shutting out some team from Pittsburg (Yes, they have a MLB team). Magic has been a little inconsistent but has been good enough to lead the staff in most pitching stats (8 wins, 2.98 ERA, 106 K’s) He has really turned the corner and his maturity as a dude overall has made his pitching that much better. Now, if he can just get that cold sore thing under control. Yikes!
Grade: A
Roy O
Roy started off slow (trend alert!) with only one win in his first 11 starts. He seemed to have really lost some of his command, aggressiveness and effectiveness and had people questioning his ability to be an ace-type. Whoops. Roy O then seemed to find something in July. He talked recently of finding a better release point and pushing off to the plate further. Whatever it was, he returned to his dominant self throwing two CG and winning 4 of his next 7. His quest to become more efficient made him kinda wimpy, so getting back to striking peeps out helped drop his ERA down under 3.00 for the June/July split and 3.85 for the season.
Grade: B+
Hampy
Wow! Innings eater has not been used to describe Mike Hamton since ‘Nam. But, screw it! 15 starts and only 8 long balls given up.
Grade: C+
B-Mo
Moehler looked to be the odd man out when everyone was healthy, but has stayed the course after a horrendous April and provided the AstBros with some high quality starts. I’m predicting 2nd half success based on his last 6 starts and his mastery of the mock turtleneck (4-1, 2.78).
Grade: C-
Russ Ortiz
Durability was a concern. Dude has been rubber armed so far, taking the bump from the rotation and the pen (10 starts, 10 reliefs). He walks more oppo-Bros than anyone else but manages not to get beat up too badly in the process. Just a stop gap until someone better comes along, as he is evidently not Coop’s style. Aw, did he hurt your feelings?
Grade: C-
Felipe Paulino
He is horribly inconsistent and might be the worst reliever ever. He can throw a ball through a brick wall but not through bats evidently. Can’t wait for him to take a spot in the rotation and run with it.
Grade: D-
Relief Bros
Arias
1.17 WHIP, 1.57 ERA, 8.48 K/9, 0 Losses. This has been an amazing year for Arias. Yet, I still have no idea what his first name is, or where he came from.
Grade: A+
LaHawk
38 App., 10/13 saves, 2.38 ERA, 29 K. LaHawk is the man in the pen.
Grade: A-
Sampson
Chris leads the squad in games (41), and IP (47.2). He has become a reliable late inning guy and shown to be pretty durable. Doesn’t miss many bats, however. (5.4 K/9)
Grade: B
Jose V
Has been good when healthy, and it’s an encouraging sign that other teams in contention want this guy on their team. 11.14 K/9 is great, 4.33 BB/9 is not. Hoser has only saved 8 of 12.
Grade: B-
Fulchino
You Rang. Jeff could be a Pro Wrestler if the pitching thing doesn’t work out. Fortunately for him, it will because he has been good more often than not. I’d be scared to say anything different anyways.
Grade: C
Byrdak
Timmy is consistent. Consistently average. Timmy always K’s one oppo-Bro and lets one get on. And every third time out, one dude scores. (Grade: C+)
WW – Double Dub has been a K machine (11.4 K/9). Unfortunately, he also gives up an OPS of .828. Not good. Wright has gotta get some ground balls to become a major leaguer permanently.
Grade: D+
Geary and Backe
It was nice to see you, so nice.
Grade: F
Brocail
OldBro got hurt covering first in between episodes of Matlock and Golden Girls.
Grade: I
Lineup Bros
Bourn
Mikey is quickly becoming a favorite among fans with his spectacular fielding, arm and speed on the basepaths. His hitting has improved to the point where he has solidified his spot in the lineup for the foreseeable future. Going the other way and watching more pitches has made him a dangerous man.
Grade: B+
Miggy
Miggy has been better than expected as a hitter, as bad as a fielder and fantastic as a leader. He’s hitting .329, 7 HR, 49 RBI and .830 OPS. If it’s hit at him, he can still fire it over, but if its not then he has the worst chance of making the play of all NL SS’s. Miggy still made his 6th All Star team. Take that, Congress.
Grade: B
Hunter Pence
Pence made his 1st All-Star team this year, and it was well deserved. He still busts his ass running down the line, running after foul balls and throwing people out all over the place and fans love him for it. Has become a little more selective at the plate and it has paid off. Hunter batted over .300 most of the year, although he has cooled off recently.
Grade: B
Heavy Lee
Dude needs to mix in a salad. Carlos has continued to defy all logic by being durable, productive and entertaining. Hitting .308, 13 HR, 49 RBI and an .838
OPS will keep you in the lineup. He’d be a much better player in my opinion if he lost 15-20 pounds but as long as he can stave off heart disease, he’ll continue to mash.
Grade: B-
Lance
As Lance goes, so go the AstBros. He’s hitting .326 since June 1st with 8 HR and 26 RBI and the team has been 22-16 during that span. He leads the team in all the power categories and will be back around .300 by the end of August. His slow start was one of the biggest reasons for us having to get out of a big ass hole again. (Grade: B+)
Pudge – Has grounded into 11 DP, has an OBP of .278 and an OPS of .670. Somehow, these are all improvements for an AstBro catcher. Way to go! This was the best one year contract Wade made this season.
Grade: C-
Blum
The blond bomber has come on as a clutch hitter recently with three GW hits. Good thing, because he has been a freaking Judy otherwise with only two HR in 199 AB’s. Blum is keeping his spot warm for a more able player when one comes along. Still a good 3B defensively, hamstring issues have made him a step too slow. On his way back to bench duty soon, where he would be satisfactory.
Grade: D
AzzMat
Sneaky bastard, I had to double take when looking at his numbers. He has gotten his BA up to .252. But with OPS of .651 he is the still the worst starter we have at the plate. Should bat 7th or 8th from now on and will be replaced after the season, hopefully by Maysonet. Anal Fissures must be worse than previously reported.
Grade: D-
Bench Bros
Kep
5th on the team in OPS (.769) 1st in weird facial hair.
Grade: C+
Maysonet
Edwin is a single ray of sunshine from Round Rock. He would be playing 2nd everyday if not for Azzmat’s bloated paycheck, and apparent unwillingness to blow Coop.
Grade: C
Q
BA .246, OPS .578 and 4 XBH in 79 PA. Not good enough to be a back up by himself. Now the 3rd catcher.
Grade: F+
Erstad
BA .165, OPS .561 and 6 XBH in 95 PA.
Grade: F
JMike
BA .176, OPS .580 and 8 XBH in 82 PA. Gawd awful outfielder.
Grade: F
Kata and Smitty
Just painfully bad, worse than watching the WNBA.
Grade F-
Feel free to argue any of my grades, but know this, I am right and you are not. Ring it up.
-Deputy Jason
We didn't come out here to play tiddlywinks, son.
-Hal Smith
